"Requiem for a Pistol"
A "Gamesta" Halo rap by

G's site - www.metroidmetal.com - E's site - www.207pictures.com

What do you get when you take a pissed off writer, a bored to s**t musician, and about 100,000 puerile cheating asswipe f**kmook soulless degenerate four-year olds with an interweb connection and Halo 2? I don't know either. But on an unrelated note we made a rap:

- Requiem for a Pistol - DOWNLOAD -

Due to popular demand by all you deaf mutes, we've included lyrics for your enjoyment. So by all means, enjoy:

Requiem for a Pistol

Rollin' through the Gulch with my pistol on my side
G's strapped with shotguns ready to die
And T's set up on the hill
He's got a rifle in his hands
And his skills are ill
And here comes Evan with the flag
Lay down some cover fire and
F**k, he got fragged

Everyone get ready for the end
We're taking down the reds
It means divine wind

That was back in the day when we would hang em high
Me and my boys, side by side
Had no clue about standby
But that all got f**ked by X-box Live

Where'd my pistol go?
Wheres the Blood Gulch I know?
Why did Live have to f**k with my halo?

Load the bomb in the hog, let's all rush the base
Where the hell are you going?
"Why don't you shut your face!"

Damn if these guys aren't lagged
"You're mom went to college!
All n00bs are fags!"

You should have gotten in the f**kin' car
i just killed every blue dude on Zanzibar

Now why the hell did everybody just drop?
There's three more rounds
"F**k you fagot, suck my cock!"

*Bomb armed... Bomb planted... Round Over...*

G: "What? How the hell?"

E: "They're cheating..."

G: "Ya think?"

Online punk: "It's not cheating"

G: "The hell it's not, the bomb just appeared in the base and armed"

Online punk: "It's not cheating. All you have to do is have everyone on your team stand in a semi-trapezoid around the warthog and hold down on the D-pad while drinking a Fresca and singing the French national anthem in Florentine. That puts a blue dot above the head of the player with the fewest vowels in their name. You then shoot the constellation that corresponds that that persons zodiac sign into the dot, and everyone spins three and a half times around, and the blue dot guy is invisible and invulnerable. As long as you continue to chant the Fader Ure while you move, you can walk right into the base and the bomb is armed. Anyone can do it!"

G: "Anyone can buy a modem with a standby button on it, too. It's still cheating."

Online punk: "Fag."

G: "Do they even make Fresca anymore?"

Online punk: "You would know better than me, only fagots drink Fresca."

G: "But you just said..."

Online punk: "F**k you Fag."

G: *sigh*


I've got this online s**t worked down to a T
An Aristotelian Ship of Fools like democracy
Riding high on the waves of a f**ktard sea
We've wrapped ourselves so securely
In the agony of anonymity that we're finally free
To be just as horrible as we've always wanted to be
So we scream and we cry
Homophobically, racially, ignorantly
A little too easily we're panophobes when projected digitally.

Is this the generation that I constantly defend?
Are these the future poets and the future statesmen?
I want to say, “I love you” to my family and friends
'Cause if the world is in these hands then this really is the end.

F**k Raimi and Romero
F**k Jacksons, “Dead Alive.”
The greatest horror I know
is X-Box live

And the popes and the priests and the prophets are all fools
Halo 2's the greatest trick that the devil ever pulled.

"Hey? Where's Blood Gulch?"

And I beheld a pale horse
And the name that sat on it was Bungie
and Hell followed with it

G: "Is it really that bad?"

E: "Dude, it's so much worse, but, do you have any idea how hard it is to rhyme,
“clusterfuck of abysmal?”

G: "... How 'bout, “I just dropped my dog off at the kennel.”

E: "Shut up"

G: "Would you like to try the fennel?"

E: "That's enough"

G: "Wanna play some Perfect Dark?"

E: "Yes I do. But first..."

*destroys television*

Props to Bungie & Tenacious D.